Confidence and Self-Esteem

You aren’t born with confidence and self-esteem - they are skills you can build.

Starting work, applying for jobs or thinking about your future can sometimes knock your confidence, especially if you’ve faced rejection, been out of work for a while, struggled at school or simply aren’t sure what you’re good at yet.

Confidence doesn’t mean feeling fearless or positive all the time. It means recognising your strengths, trusting that you can learn and improve, and being willing to give things a go even when you feel nervous.

The good news is that confidence can be built.

• Confidence versus Self-Esteem

  They’re connected, but slightly different:

  • Confidence is believing you can do something - “I think I can handle this interview.”

  • Self-esteem is how you see and value yourself - “I have things to offer, even if I don’t get this particular job.”

  Both can grow through experience. You don’t have to wait until you feel confident before taking action. Often, taking small steps is what creates confidence.

• Recognise what you already bring

  It can be easy to focus on experience or qualifications you don’t have. Instead, think about the skills and qualities you already use.

  These might include:

  • Helping or supporting other people

  • Being reliable and turning up when you say you will

  • Communicating with different people

  • Staying calm when something goes wrong

  • Learning new technology

  • Organising your time

  • Working as part of a team

  • Solving problems

  • Being creative, patient or determined

  And remember, your examples don't have to come from a job. Think about education, volunteering, caring responsibilities, hobbies, sport, community activities and everyday life.

• Challenge your negative voices

  Sometimes our thoughts can make situations feel harder than they really are.

  Instead of:

  “I’ll mess up the interview.”

  Try:

  “I might be nervous, but I can prepare and do my best.”

  Instead of:

  “I don't have enough experience.”

  Try:

  “I have skills I can build on, and this job could help me gain experience.”

  Instead of:

  “Everyone else is more confident than me.”

  Try:

  “Other people get nervous too. I don't need to compare myself with them.”

  This isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about giving yourself the same fair chance you would give someone else.

• Build confidence through small wins

  Confidence usually grows by doing, not just thinking.

  Try setting yourself one small challenge at a time:

  1. Prepare – decide what you’re going to do.

  2. Give it a go – don't aim for perfect.

  3. Notice what went well – even something small counts.

  4. Learn – think about what you'd do differently next time.

  5. Try again – repetition makes unfamiliar situations easier.

  For example, your first step might be making a phone call, asking someone a question, practising an interview answer or introducing yourself to somebody new.

Top Tips for Building Confidence & Self-Esteem

Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Your starting point and experiences are your own.

Keep track of your successes. Write down compliments, achievements and positive feedback so you don't forget them.

Prepare for situations that make you nervous. Practising an interview or conversation can make the real thing feel much easier.

Set achievable goals. One small success can help you tackle a bigger challenge.

Notice your self-talk. Ask yourself: Would I speak to a friend this way?

Accept mistakes. Getting something wrong doesn't mean you're bad at it. It tells you what to work on next.

Ask for support. Confidence doesn't mean doing everything alone. Speak to your friends, family, co-workers, or your Employment & Progression coach.

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Activity

Your Confidence Bank: Think of confidence like a bank account. Every example of something you've achieved, overcome or handled is something you can put into it.

Write down:

• Something I’m proud of:

• A challenge I've overcome:

• Something I'm good at:

• Something another person has said I'm good at:

• Something I've improved at over time:

• One thing I'm going to challenge myself to do next:

Now choose your strongest example

Complete this sentence:

“I know I can __________________ because I have previously __________________.”

Keep this example. You may be able to use it when writing an application or answering an interview question.

Remember:

Small actions → experience → confidence → bigger steps.

Confidence and self-esteem grow together. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small wins, and trust that you are capable of more than you think.

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For Further Learning…